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10 July, 2014

Lacking....

You know (I'm saying 'you' like someone's actually going to read this...), I find that I lack stuff in my little puny life. Let's see... : Persistance, Diligence, Social Life, Mental Stability, but most importantly, Self Confidence.

I've went through times this year where my self confidence was put to the test, but failed... Here's an example:
Task A is your average task with an average reward and has an average difficulty; Task B is a high caliber task (did I spell that wrong?) with an extremely great reward and of course a somewhat high difficulty. My heart goes "Do Task B! It's going to be a great experience!" and I actually agree with it (not something you see everyday). And then my brain HAD to interfere and goes "Well if you screw it up you're as good as dead, guy! Take the easy way out and do Task A!".

This lead me to a dilemma. Do I follow my heart, or follow my brain? Both of them made me do countless things in the past I regret which I wish not to speak about, ever (maybe someday I will...). I had to give an answer in like 5 seconds so my self confidence got me. I followed my brain.

Was it a bad decision? I don't know. You regret it yet? Too early to tell, to be honest. And this kind of stuff happened to me at least twice this year. Sigh... The eternal conflict between my brain and my heart goes on... Let's just see what happens in the future I guess, it's not like I can travel back into time to change anything. Even if I can, the paradoxes that could happen could just end space and time as we know it.

Can I talk about the things my heart wanted and made me regret my decision forever? Nah.... That's too much information for the 0 number of people who would actually read until this paragraph...

If you did read till here give me a comment! :)

Thanks for reading. Back to being the mentally-unstable, anti-social, can't-record-any-Youtube-videos-since-reasons, still-talking-to-himself, crazy Rubin I guess...

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